


secrets i have held

by wyoheartsmusic



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, martino doesn't want to work with sana, they're on the roof again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 12:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16326230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic/pseuds/wyoheartsmusic
Summary: Martino and Niccolò meet again and talk a little about the radio





	secrets i have held

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been able to write anything in so long so I'm really happy I managed to write this. It's super short so I also put it on tumblr, you can find it [here](http://julian-dahl.tumblr.com/post/179144474183/secrets-i-have-held-martino-was-in-hell-and-he) so if you liked this, maybe reblog it?
> 
> I hope you like this <3

Martino was in hell and he still didn’t even have the weed back. He closed his eyes and slouched back in the chair, taking a couple deep breaths. Sana was cruel and thriving on his misery. _Female historical figures who changed the world._ Hopefully Sana would realise soon that Martino was only going to make both of them miserable if they kept working together.

He turned around in the chair and started tracing the egg cartons on the wall. The one good thing about working on the radio was that he could spend more time in school and didn’t have to go home just yet.

“We keep meeting here, huh?”

Martino jumped and then froze, trying to appear calm before he turned around to look at Niccolò. Smiling, bright Niccolò in his jean jacket, casually leaning against the doorframe. “Hello,” Martino blurted, standing up abruptly. “Hi,” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, “Sorry, do you need the room?”

Niccolò shrugged and pointed to the ceiling. “Wanna go up to the roof?” He suggested.

Martino grinned. “Only if you brought more weed,” He joked.

Niccolò raised his eyebrows, turning on his heels to walk away. Over his shoulder he said, “Only if you tell me that long story about how you ended up at the radio.”

“Only if you tell me your story too,” Martino teased, following after him.

It caught him off guard when Niccolò laughed, going right through to Martino’s very core. “That’s not how it works, Rametta.”

“You know my name?” Martino’s voice got a little higher with surprise while he tried to figure out if he had ever mentioned it in the few encounters between them.

Niccolò simply winked at him and Martino smiled.

When they were up on the roof, they just stood there for a while, leaning over the banister to enjoy the view. Their elbows were touching and Martino was hyperaware of it.

“Shit, I think I actually left my stash at home,” Niccolò sighed eventually after searching all his pockets.

Martino shrugged and smiled. He sat down on the ground and said, “That’s okay.” He didn’t care about not smoking but he hoped Niccolò would stay a little longer anyway.

He joined him on the ground and offered him a cigarette. “We can smoke this instead?”

Martino had only ever smoked weed before but he figured it wouldn’t be too bad. He took the cigarette and placed it between his lips, eyes heavily on Niccolò as he took out his lighter, his gaze trailing from the cigarette to Martino’s eyes. Electric.

Martino started coughing when the rough smoke infiltrated his lungs.

Niccolò started giggling but rubbed his hand across Martino’s back in an attempt to soothe him. “Just breathe,” He coached quietly.

Martino didn’t know what breathing was anymore.

When Martino had calmed down again, Niccolò took the cigarette from him, inhaling deeply and then while blowing the smoke out, he offered, “If you don’t have other plans you can come to my place later and we can smoke that joint I promised you. It seems that’s more your thing.”

“Shut up,” Martino muttered, his cheeks heating up. But he was smiling when he heard Niccolò’s laugh again and he wouldn’t mind staying here forever to just listen to it. “What’s your idea for the radio?” He asked because maybe, if Niccolò didn’t have an idea yet, he could just play the sound of his laughter over and over again.

Niccolò hummed quietly to let Martino know he had heard his question but he didn’t answer immediately.

Martino closed his eyes. He didn’t mind the silence. In fact, he really enjoyed it. There wasn’t a million thoughts coursing through his head like they usually were and he could just enjoy the sun on his face and Niccolò’s closeness.

“I don’t have a fully formed concept yet,” Niccolò suddenly said and it took Martino a moment to remember what they had talked about. The radio, right. “But I was thinking something along the lines of _LGBT experiences in homophobic Italy_.”

Martino’s eyes flew open and he gaped at Niccolò. “Oh?” Was all he managed to get out. Here he was, trying so hard to hide who he was out of fear what his friends, his family, _the whole school_ would think of him if they knew and then there was Niccolò, unafraid and open.

“I’m pansexual.” Niccolò turned his head to look straight back at Martino. At first, it seemed that he was completely confident in his words but the longer Martino looked, the more he saw the fear of rejection in Niccolò’s eyes. Martino didn’t look away. “So I know a little bit about what it’s like to live… like that. The constant fear of strangers wanting to beat you up — or worse — simply because of who you love. And I just think, we have the means to- to maybe change something, you know? Even if it only has a small impact. It’s an impact and it’s a start, right?”

“Yeah,” Martino breathed, eyes flicking down to lips so close. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Niccolò, to finally kiss someone he _wanted_ to kiss. To not be afraid. “Can I be your partner?”

Niccolò blew out smoke and Martino watched mesmerised before he eventually looked back at Niccolò’s eyes. They were filled with curiosity. “My partner?”

Martino didn’t know where that had even come from. Scratch that, he knew exactly: he wanted to spend more time with Niccolò, get to know him better and he wanted to make a small impact on the society around him. “For your radio show. I might be useless but-“

“Yes!” Niccolò interrupted him with a bright smile, “Absolutely!”

Martino’s shoulders sagged in relief, he was glad Niccolò seemed so enthusiastic about this. But there was still something nagging at Martino. Something he needed to say. “I’m-“ _Gay_. Three letters, impossible to utter. He cleared his throat and tried again, “I’m… not straight.” _So I know what it’s like to be afraid too, and I’m tired of it._

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a comment or kudos if you like <3


End file.
